By Cercando 598 views
I have no academic authority but only opinion, based on my feelings without solid statistical data and nothing more. However, because I feel deeply about what I believe, I’m going to go out on a limb and share it, because I believe it to be true now that I am part of this website.
As I’ve written in my short bio, I have lived my life as a straight dude. I come from Southern Europe but grew up in Queens, New York and the neighborhood was rough. When I left Italy, my cousins and their friends said goodbye to me at the airport as I boarded the TWA airplane for the states with my parents. I cried so hard I made a fool of myself and could barely breathe. The physical affection I experienced with other guys, who grabbed me, kissed me on the cheek regularly, and would often grope me between my legs, was daily, and I loved my friends and my male and female cousins. We were all over each other in that tiny town. Once I said goodbye, I knew I lost that contact forever. One of the first things I learned once I came to the states is that you can’t touch another guy, and so I didn’t. In my mind’s eye I still see myself as a kid horsing around with “I ragazzi del paese”, my friends in the town, laughing uncontrollably and sharing body contact. I never experienced that again in my life.
It was with great difficulty that I came to this site. I felt as though someone had a secret camera that knows where I live and will “out me” for my bizarre fetish. But the camaraderie expressed by sellers, albeit brief and perhaps not always ultimately sincere but nevertheless liberating, has pulled me a bit out of the shame that I have experienced with the sellers on this site. And so, here is my confession: this is what I believe is taking place with the desire to obtain an article of clothing worn by another person and carries their (His) scent.
To begin with, we have become an overly sanitized society. That is NOT to say that there is anything wrong with healthy cleanliness, which is necessary of course, it is to say that we are obsessed with colognes, detergents and perfumes thanks to popular culture and commercialism. It is said that when Napoleon was returning from military combat, he sent word to his wife, Josephine, and said “I’m coming home… don’t bathe”. He wanted to experience her in her fullness of being. The next thing that I want to express is that I can still smell the scent of my cousin’s neck when we wrestled around when I was a kid, and I would be close to him, physically. I never touched him sexually, but I liked his strong arm around my shoulder. I lost that human contact with males, and I quietly desire it. I think we bury those deep feelings of human longing which, in time, reemerge in the type of desire that one sees here on this site, which is harmless and normal as I am now beginning to believe despite societal shaming.
In purchasing a used article of clothing that holds the scent of the individual who wears it, I think we are trying to reconnect with a primal human longing that defines who we are as beings of need, and sometimes a scent is better than nothing, better than having no one, especially if life is guarded by strong social expectations that constrictively define who we are as men and keep us unnaturally apart. I never again touched another guy nonchalantly after I came to this country, but I still remember the piggyback ride races I would engage in when I was a kid back on what we now call “the other side”, Southern Europe, with my male friends. I can still feel their heat, their hot breath caressing my neck, their arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders, and the affection that welled within me, and… their scent. It’s only a memory now. I miss it so much.
Obtaining an article of clothing from another dude- especially one that is well built and handsome as so many guys are on this site (Holy Cow, look at those F’n Brits!) that carries his scent - a strong scent hopefully – I believe reconnects me, and perhaps many of us, in a primal manner to a primitive but natural connection to our gender in a manner that we have lost long ago. When an alpha dude who’s built like a brick shit house gives you an article of his clothing that smells like him, it’s as though he is giving you a part of himself (at least in my perception) and I think we, as guys, have lost that physical connection which doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual but even if it isn’t and resides on sexual desire for another male, it doesn’t matter. We obtain a small part of that person. It can also be an issue of gender consolidation, a necessary part of feeling male and bonding with others of one’s own kind, to be part of one of your brothers. Men are men. Gay, Bi, or Straight, we are all brothers.
Who knows, maybe I’ve reached out to someone and pulled him out of his shame as I have sought to escape from mine, for more than one reason that I have chosen not to share. Once I came to the states, I was taught that I shouldn’t touch another dude, and so I haven’t, publicly that is. But I’ve never forgotten my cousins and the small-town adventures we would have when we would sneak out of my uncle’s window at night and go out to an all-night pizzeria, their arms draped around me as we walked through the cool mist of those September nights. I feel embarrassed of my developing fetish, but purchasing certain items from other guys strangely brings back strong feelings of belonging if I can smell their human scent. Our lack of human contact is, at this point in modern society, phenomenally neurotic as far as I’m concerned, and all I ever cared about is human contact, male or female, and there’s no one to reach out to non-sexually anymore.
When I work out in the gym, guys move about like robots. When greetings are exchanged, they are cliché, short and most often artificial. There is no “male space” societally, and the gym is teeming with women and older men and women. Men are brothers, and yet terribly removed from one another via modern conditioning and the lack of male space.
In my attempt to try and figure out what makes me want to do what I do, this my take on the desire to obtain an article of clothing worn by another dude. It makes me feel weird, and I guess that I am, weird yes, but harmless. There is a science behind it, I believe, and I have expressed it as best as I could.
Hey, guys (and ladies), though my preference is male, for worn apparel that is, (I indulge in s**ual exchange with women) it was difficult to come to this site....
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