Domination and Submission - Are You Doing It Safely?

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Domination and Submission - Are You Doing It Safely?

Now this may sound like a silly blog post on the face of it... these are online sessions, how can they be unsafe?! To answer that, let's look deeper into the art of domination and submission. As there are so many offering this service now, let's make sure we're all safe!

The art of submission is one of relaxing self-control, both physically or mentally. To allow yourself to enter a state of submission, you must release control of these aspects and allow your dominant to take over and start dictating your senses. Which seems far more daunting than just 'being submissive'.

Where am I going with this you may ask, well... it's no secret that in life, psychological scars can often last longer than physical ones. Domination is no different, if a submissive experiences a poorly executed session, that scar will last far longer than a bruise left by a spanking! It can leave them feeling lost, confused and questioning their kink and ultimately feeling uncomfortable, something a kinkster shouldn't have to feel when going to their kinky happy place!

So How Do We Make This All Safe?


Make sure that as a submissive you let a dominant know your limits, if you are unsure, be honest with them, think of uncomfortable situations and things you don't like to experience. A respectful dominant will take on board these limits and avoid them, the more we know about you, the better we can make your sessions.

For dominants, do not begin a session without establishing what the session entails. Make sure your submissive is happy and make sure you know what is too far. I know that many submissives say they have no limits, but trust me they do! Establish a safeword with your submissive to make sure the line isn't crossed.


Domination is far more diverse than just speaking down to a submissive or humiliating them. All submissives are human beings above everything else and we must respect that. Just because they are paying you to dominate them, does not mean that they are not human and can't be hurt. They feel just like you and I. These sessions are for their enjoyment above all else and we must all respect that. For everybody to have the best experience respect must be exercised, even in the height of domination.

For submissives, be aware of who you are speaking to. We are here to help you exercise and explore your kinks, to establish a successful working relationship with your dominant you must also respect their life. Be aware that this is a career for many and that we do not have unlimited time to devote to you with our day to day ongoings. Do not get impatient and expect your sessions to be done at your beck and call, the best sessions are carried out at a mutually agreed time with correct planning and adequate preparation, so allow for this. If you expect your dominant to be ready and waiting for you constantly, you are setting yourself up for a fall. Acknowledge the human aspect of their life and you will enjoy a prosperous relationship.

Know Your Subjects

As I say, domination spans far wider than just BDSM, learn these topics and study them, this is the key to providing the best domination services. For example, there are kinks such as pet play, cuckolding, age play, impact play and so many more - it goes far beyond whips and chains and nasty words!

Know your terms too, establish the difference between a slave and a submissive, a dominant and a master. Do not offer a service you do not understand.

Make it Continuous

A master is for life not just for Christmas! Many submissives/slaves crave a structure and guidance to their life, it is not an entirely sexual experience for them, it's not just for 30 minutes and the kink goes away. They will look up to you, look to you for guidance and support across an array of topics, including day to day life and as a dominant, you must be prepared to cater for your submissives needs across many aspects of life. Make sure you're tending to their psychological needs as well as their kinks.

Know Yourself

This is key for both parties before you partake in any form of domination. Take time to familiarise yourself with yourself, know your specialities and know your kinks. Do not make a promise to your submissive or your dominant that you can't keep.

Ready to go? Great, enjoy your kinky adventure and I emphasise enjoy! Think of it like gambling, when the fun stops, stop! If ever you have any questions, queries or concerns please get in touch, my inbox is open

Something else to consider is getting a contract drawn up (no, these are not legally binding!), for serious dominant/submissive relationships, this will establish the way the relationship will run. Things I include are:

  • Dates (this contract runs between X & Y)
  • Names (how I expect the submissive to address me and how I will be addressing them)
  • Duties (what duties I expect the submissive to do for me and what they receive in return)
  • Time (how much time each will spend on the other)
  • Punishments (if the submissive does not perform their duties, what are the consequences)
  • Payment (no pay, no play - how much is the submissive expected to pay to keep this relationship running)
  • Kinks and limits (what the submissive enjoys and what they don't)

Once again, enjoy and play safely!

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